ATTACHMENT EFFECT,ITS A GAME CHANGER
Everything we do in life comes from our connection with others, our relations with our parents , family , colleagues , co-workers , it begins from childhood and maintenance throughout our life .
When we look at our needs , they include one of those , love , security and acceptance. We tend to look for either something we had in our childhood or something we missed and we grow up with an idea of how good a relationship should be .
PETER LOVENHEIN , author of ( THE ATTACHMENT EFFECT ) wrote ;
“ the quality of the first bond loving and stable or inconsistent or even absent , acutely shape the developing brain, influencing us throughout life in how we deal with loss and how we behave in relationships ,”
LOVE
This person has the ability to love and be caring in a relationship with others , he had been raised this way , but when he went through an unhealthy relationship , he could hurt badly and turn into an avoidant , depending on himself to protect himself .
Second example
INSECURE
This person has a deep fear of abandonment , since early age , always anxious and worried , he fears of being left out , tends to always ask for acceptance or validation .
All these emotions are determined by how we have been raised at an early age and how others responded to our emotional stress .
HOW TO PROTECT OUR SELF ?
EVERY NEW DAY IS ANOTHER CHANCE TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE .
First
Know your emotions , define them and know the emotions of others around you , to understand their actions .
Second
Be gentle on yourself , understanding your feelings takes time , embrace your fear , anxiety, don’t resist or push them , just absorb them , be aware and take time to understand them .
Third
Talk about how you feel , don’t feel shy or ashamed , we are all humans , each of us has his own battle , and there is no win without fallen .
Fourth
Always ask for help on this journey . maybe a consultant , a book , podcast you will always find a way if this was your goal